Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC.  Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. Episode 11: Let Them. In Episode 11 of "The Love Doc Podcast," Dr. Hensley explores the concept of "let them" and its profound impact on relationships. She begins by addressing the common question she encounters in her practice: "How do I get my partner to [insert behavior]?" Dr. Hensley emphasizes that trying to change someone else's behavior is futile. Instead, she advises listeners to "let them" show up in their chosen way and then evaluate if that behavior aligns with their needs and desires. If it does, the relationship can flourish. If not, she discusses healthy ways to move on. Dr. Hensley explains that secure individuals do not abandon their own needs or compromise their desires in a romantic relationship. She delves into how different attachment styles struggle with the idea of "letting them." Fearful avoidant and anxious preoccupied individuals often grapple with high anxiety and fear of rejection, making it difficult for them to relinquish control. On the other hand, dismissive avoidants often fail to create an emotionally safe environment for their partners. The episode underscores the importance of achieving attachment security to navigate these complex dynamics. Continuing, Dr. Hensley highlights how modeling secure behavior can positively influence a more insecure partner, sometimes bringing about substantial change. She stresses the significance of setting boundaries and then being comfortable with others' perceptions of you and the relationship you share. By "letting them" hold their own narratives, you can find peace and freedom in living your truth. This of course does not go without your own self reflection to ensure that you are also showing up in a healthy, secure way. Dr. Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher share personal anecdotes about friends and ex-partners they have had to let go, allowing these individuals to maintain their own (sometimes erroneous) narratives. The episode concludes with Dr. Hensley addressing a popular question: "How do I get my ex back?" She breaks down the science of attraction and offers practical steps to assess whether rekindling a past relationship is worthwhile. Dr. Hensley also introduces her upcoming course, "How to Get Your Ex Back," set to release this fall. In the end, both Dr. Hensley and Raina Butcher emphasize the importance of letting go of people and things not meant for you, making room for what truly is. They reflect on how finding their own attachment security and practicing "letting them" ultimately led them to a deep sense of self love and to finding their husnands.  Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: ·        The ideas and importance behind the statement "let them." ·       Addressing how the statement "How do I get my partner to" is the wrong approach when entering coaching. ·       "Let them" behave how they choose to behave, then take inventory of how this aligns with you own wants and needs. ·       The difference between how insecure attachment styles struggle with the idea of "let them" versus the securley attached. ·       Letting go of certian people in your life and the narrative they may have about you and the relationship you shared.  .       Is the effort on trying to get your ex back warrented and if so steps and advice on how to do so.  Consider/Ask Yourself ·       Are anxiety and a strong need to control things standing in the way of your true healing? ·       Does it bother you when someone thinks poorly of you when you try to set an appropriate boundary? ·       Have you stated your needs and wants compassionatley and then let them (your partner) show up, and then taken real inventory? If so, how is your partner showing up for you? .       Are you holding onto your relationship simply so you can hold onto the narrative that you feel is the right one? Sometimes it is okay to be the villian in someone else's story as long as it grants you your peace and freedom. 

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